Gods and Monsters

Sorry for the corny title. But I think it is corny because it fits… so often. By the way, this post may contain SPOILERS. So, don’t read if you haven’t seen the movie GODS OF EGYPT and still want to be surprised.

Having said that, you might find it difficult to find any surprises within this flick. The reasons why GODS OF EGYPT failed with critics and viewers are obvious. The characters have little depth, the effects are too massive to support the B-movie-flair. But if you strip away expectations of another „Mummy“ (the 1999 instalment of course) and the epic politics of the „Underworld“ movies, you might find some enjoyment in things that became very rare during the age of industrially produced block-buster-features.

„Death Is Only The Beginning…“

Countless deaths mark Set’s trail in this film. But in the end, all the heroic figures can be saved thanks to Set’s own reign of chaos. While he turns heaven and hell upside down he – somehow – makes the return of all the gods slain in his path possible. I’m not quite sure why, but it is refreshing to see that old „heroic-sacrifice“ crap go to the dogs. I don’t know if you feel the same way if I am insane or something like that but I want my happy ending. I don’t want to see the heroes, I suffered from for 2 hours, perish for a greater good. That is more realistic you say? Well, if I want realism, I go to work and don’t watch a movie about Egyptian gods fighting each other.

“God of The Impossible…“

But let’s talk about the music. I often wondered what fascinates me the most about the music of Marco Beltrami. Listening to GODS OF EGYPT I get the feeling, Jerry Goldsmith is still alive and still evolving. This is no copy or poor imitation of the great master’s work, it is his teachings and legacy living on. Marco’s soundscape is movies as they should be, the sound of a golden age.

I also love the classic nuances of „old-Egyptian-stories“ and their music no matter if it was created by Alex North, Jerry Goldsmith, David Arnold or Marco Beltrami.

“I, Robot…“

Now we know, the Egyptian gods weren’t aliens at all. They were transformers and smoking hot ones, too. I really cherish the way CGI creatures move. As much as I love practical effects, the movement of animated humanoids is so cool. On a personal note, I want to say, that no CGI buddy beats the Aliens and Predators made of real foam and rubber out there.

“No Harm Ever Came from Reading A Book?“

Whoever is responsible for the final cut of GODS OF EGYPT probably tried to learn from Evy’s mistake in „The Mummy“ and didn’t bother with literature, history, technique and stuff. I don’t blame the writers because we all know that producers and marketers have the real power over a motion-picture these days and frequently manage to mutilate one beyond recognition unless there is some Spielberg or Kubrick standing in their way.

This movie really has it all: cheap jokes, plot holes, continuity flaws and a campy story beyond reason. I want to mention though that the latter is a fountain of enjoyment for me. If you compare it to some of the – so-called – big hits like „The Phantom Menace“, „Man of Steel“, „Transformers“ or anything else from director-imposter Michael Bay, it really is not that bad.

Gerard Butler…

…my hero. I love him.

All in all there are worse ways to waste your time. Watch the movie, listen to the beautiful music and enjoy the cool CGI-Gods brawling.